feel the sun on your skin

I made changes in my life. I accepted the fact that no matter how hard I try it will never be perfect. No one can change how fast time goes by, you can only change how fast it feels. Be happy and the days fly, be frustrated and a minute will feel like a day. You hold your own key to happiness. No one except of you can make you happy. You're the captain of your life. Maybe fate mixes the cards and throws rocks in your way, so pick them up and throw them right back. You only get one life to live and you're not gonna escape it alive anyway. So shout 'fuck it' and don't care what others think about you.

Remember to breathe, because it'll take your breath away,
When the engines cough, and you blast off.
Ignite the night with a firecracker flash.
Remember to live, 'cause you're gonna be thrilled to death,
When the stars collide and your eyes grow wide.
Take it in with your breath against the glass.
Remember to dream because it's gonna be a starry night,
Over every town, if you look down.
So harmonize with the singing satellites.
Remember to scream because you're gonna be lost for words,
When the sparks erupt and they light you up.

You walk down your packed hallways everyday. You pass hundreds of people you have never talked to, ex best friends & boy friends. You pass the people that hate you & most importantly love you to death. If you could just freeze everyone & finally slow down time to look around. Do you finally notice the kids that have never had an equal chance? What about the beautiful popular girls that get all the boys, are they truly happy or is it all an act? And then look at yourself. Are you happy with who you are becoming or has high school turned you into someone you promised you would never be? Take a good look at your reflection before you judge anyone else; be the person you want to. Fuck what everyone else tells you, just be who you are.

don't get too close, i might end up breaking your heart. 

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's
okay. But no one's going to be there. And you know you
have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you.
But you're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one
to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong.
And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple.
To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be.
But you're still hoping. And you're still wishing. And
you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in
your eyes. You're fighting.

excuse me, i'm looking for the way to wonderland.

But I am who I am, because we all are who we are. No one can change it, not even I can. Sure, I can color my hair, wear colored contacts and fake a smile. But what's the point in being yourself, if you look just like everyone else?

the worst feeling is to want someone so badly that it hurt,

but they're so far away, although they're sitting right next to you

we're teenagers. we're not supposed to whore around, fucking every guy we can get it. 

you should enjoy the first times of falling in love, lying in the grass on a summer day, feeling the soft breeze of the wind, playing with flowers and cuddling with a cute guy who loves you because of who you are, not because he wants to have sex with you. you're supposed to walk around holding hands, sneeking out late at night to get a good night kiss, not to fuck him behind the next corner. you should wear cute dresses and flats, not short tight strapless dresses and 12 cm high heels. tell me, why can't we go back to being teenagers? why do we have to act so mature and adult-like, when we don't even know who we are? tell me darling, why is it so hard to trust anyone in this world..

If life is a journey, then I know where I'll be
By the ocean, oh, that valley in the sea

you can touch the sky, if you'd only try

How can you tell me that your mind's made up when I see you throwing pennies in a well for luck? And for what? We're not stuck here. Just keep messing around and get in trouble like we used to, like we're used to.

I lied when swearing that this year I won't need anyone. And we fall like shooting stars and autumn leaves, stay up later than the streetlights, promising what never could be. But I can’t be anything without you. I can’t be anything without you by my side, and it just doesn’t feel right sleeping alone tonight. And now I lie awake pining over the words you used to say, and wondering what they ever meant to you. We fall, we stand, we cope, we heal, we hope, we pray, we sing, we steal these lines from the books of the hopeless heroes, and count on someone else to save us all.

We were never lovers, and we never will be now. I do not regret that, however, I regret the conversations we never had, the time we did not spend together. I regret that I never told him that he made me happy when I was in his company. The world was the better for his being in it. These things alone I do now regret: things left unsaid.

I LOVE CALIFORNIA !

it feels like home. to see the ocean means everything to me. waking up to the sounds of the waves crashing into the rocks. walking on the beach without shoes. riding my bike through a small town in a short dress. 

i love it.

when you finally get the chance to leave, 

you find a reason to stay

'cause you don't know me, you don't wanna know what's real.. 

and i'm not sorry for who i am or what i feel

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Love is irrational. The more you loved someone, the less sense anything made.

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay

Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger

jesus fuck me my life keeps getting interesting. now i'm in the middle of a possible teenage pregnancy, leaving home and a secret trip to the coast of california. if that isn't somewhat amazing

TONIGHT, I WILL LOVE LOVE YOU TONIGHT

GIVE ME EVERYTHING TONIGHT !

for all we know we might not get tomorrow, let's do it tonight!

The truth of the matter is, 

people are always going to stay in
our hearts, whether or not they are in our lives.

True strength is holding it together when
everyone else would understand if you fall apart.

If you dont know me, dont judge me;

nobody ever said you had to love me.

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out. I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels, letting you drag my heart around. I'm done thinking that you could ever change. I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm telling myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger.

These are my thoughts written down on paper, it's my only savior, from not saying what I want to say. These are the thoughts that are on my mind, moments that haven't yet been defined, and I don't know if you could ever understand, these are the things I can't say when were alone.

I’m not saying that I’m giving up, I’m just trying not to think as much as I used to, cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word. Maybe I’ll get it right some day. For the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try. I feel helpless for the most part, but I’m learning to open my eyes. And the sad truth of the matter is, I’ll never get over it, but I’m gonna try to get better and overcome each moment in my own way. I so want to get back on track, and I’ll do whatever it takes, even if it kills me.

i should break the silence, but my words won't find their way

no love, no problems

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself by putting it back together.”

the hottest love has the coldest end

Time  flies by too fast. The last days made me realize how much I got used to being here and how well I actually started to fit in. I'm gonna miss it, I'm truly gonna miss it..

you gotta take care of yourself in this world full of sex, alcohol and drugs. 

a girl should know how to watch out for herself.

whoever is gonna put on stones in my way, is gonne get them smashed right back in their face. got that?

to say "we can still be friends" feels the same like "your dog is dead but you can keep him"

i'm not like all the other girls, i'm different

why does every conversation i have has to be so awkward?

I HATE LOVE.

I HATE HUMANS.

I HATE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT EVERYTHING.

“You have a serious problem of distorting reality. 
You could sleep with the entire planet and still feel rejected”

if people would stop caring about the way they look and start caring about each others feelings, this world would be fuckin fantastic.

because love can turn into hate

Ich lebe, um meine eigene Geschichte zu schreiben