I'm truly amazed about how one person can change all your feelings and desires. He was here yesterday and made out with my sister. The whole time I wished I never came here and just wanted to go back immediately, I had my best friend on the phone and she tried everything she could to keep me from cutting and crying. Before he came I felt so bad that I had to throw up! Fuckin asshole makes me feel like shit! I just wanted to die, the whole time he was here making out with my sister. Going back -that was all I wanted, more than everything else. Then he left and she talked to me and said she really doesn't like him and what a stupid guy he is! He really thought we did not talk about the fact that I made out with him. Seriously, he didn't know she knew about the thing between him and me! what a stupid little bitch!
While she was talking to me we were eating ice cream in front of the tv :) She vented the whole time and I was sooo happy to hear she doesn't like him! I felt so good because she HATES him! that just made my day yesterday :) I want to stay, because I just came to realize that these people surrounding me are totally amazing. And true friends, I think.
And I came to decision I should not start to panic the next time something like that happens because there is a chance it all might turn out well :) there's always hope, so never give up on hope :)